"A Beginner's Guide To Widowhood"

Nottingham Arts Theatre (Studio).

Originally created by Omar Khan and written by Rae Mainwaring  and performed by Liz Jadav.

This sixty minute play is perfect for the Studio space of the Nottingham Arts Theatre due to its' intimacy between performer and audience.

Suria Smith is on an out-of-season package holiday in Turkey, with her two teenage children, a 20-year-old travel guide book, and an audiobook on grief. But not her husband, Dan. Because he's dead. The play takes us back to Dan and Suria's first meeting and snapshots of their life before his passing as well as the Turkey trip and coming to terms with being a widow.

The play shows what a person sometimes goes through when they lose a partner; the well meant sympathy, the unasked for advice and the well intended sentiments and enquiries about how she is feeling. Anyone who has lost a loved one will know exactly how these, albeit well meant, sympathetic offerings are not always welcomed.

There's that empty chair left at a table and the painful memories of hearing a song that brings back memories of better and happier times. For me, who lost my wife almost five years ago, it was a piece right at the start of the play involving pin numbers and something akin to brain fog. That happened to me, almost as if you're in another world. There's other lines and scenarios as well that mirrored my situation, especially regarding snatches of music, which will be relatable to many, many people. It's also a credit to the well observed writing.

Liz takes us through those stages of loss, the despair, the fright, the emptiness, the feeling of being alone, but also the feeling of hope and those "baby steps" in rebuilding her life. They say that "time heals", but when you have lost the love of your life, you realise what a stupid and inaccurate saying that is. Time just makes the pain more manageable, it never heals. 

Theatre is a wonderful way of escapism, but it's also a perfect stage, if you'll pardon the pun, for getting across areas of emotion such as death without preaching or judging. There are though many lovely splashes of humour in this story, which I am sure will also be relatable to many people.

Directed by Andrew Bakewell. The pace of the monologue is perfect, allowing you to, in stages fall into the memory with Suria, at other times the frustration steams along creating the anger felt inside of her, needing to erupt like a simmering volcano. The humour takes nothing away from the aching of missing that person, and only adds to visualise the humanity in loss.

Movement Director is Kitty Winter. At times the movements are almost balletic, almost dreamlike or when time stands still for that small moment in time.

Wayne Walker-Allen is the Sound Designer. the sound effects and constant weaving of Bronski Beat's "Smalltown Boy", dissected and stripped back to create the music snatches throughout the hour, almost sounding like the song is teasing you into remembering the past.

Ali Bakewell is Technical and Moral Support, and I think we all know that umbrella covers a wide area.

"A Beginner’s Guide to Widowhood" was first performed on 1st October 2021 as part of the China Plate and Warwick Arts Centre ‘First Bite Festival 2021’ prior to a regional tour in 2025, co-produced and directed by Omar Khan. The story was written in partnership with the charity Widowed and Young.  

Before shooting off after the play, I took the chance to say hello to Liz before she started the after show discussion, which everyone is welcome to partake of and share their thoughts on the play and their experiences. You will not find a more welcoming and lovely crew than Liz and her quartet of theatre makers.

There's one more chance to catch this beautifully sad but upliftingly hopeful piece of theatre tonight at 7pm at the Nottingham Arts Theatre Studio.