"Eurobeat - Pride Of Europe" by Gatepost Theatre Company.

Duchess Theatre, Long Eaton.

Being a BIG fan of Eurovision, this was one production that I could not pass up on seeing, and it was everything I had expected it to be; crazy bonkers and immense fun, everything that is represented by the real Eurovision Song Contest.

The fun starts even before you reach the auditorium with flags and "clackers" on sale in the reception of the theatre, ramping up the excitement and anticipation of the show to come and let's face it, how many theatre shows do the cast implore you to make this much noise while they perform?

There are eleven countries all vying for your vote - yes, you get to vote for the act of your choice, meaning that someone different has the chance of winning every night of the run, and also means that the ending of the show will more than likely to be different to any that has gone previously this week. And when you think of Eurovision you get such a variety of acts, some serious, some over serious and some completely zany and off the wall. They're all depicted in this show.

In the first half we are introduced to mien hosts of Lichenstein, the host country and hear all eleven of the song entries, after which we get to vote for the act we want to win by scanning a bar code or voting by a paper form available. These votes are then counted up and in the second half the winner is revealed in the same way as Eurovision does with representatives of the various countries giving their votes, automatically updating the scoreboard as the points are doled out, and then the winning act gets to perform their winning number again.

Our host for the show is Marlene Cabana, played by Lottie Lodge who is well aware that she is the sensible one in control of the show, and regularly makes sure that anyone, Serge, does not overstep the main presenting line. Both presenters give us plenty to chuckle about with their clever word playing and puns, partly due to the brilliantly funny script, but also because the chemistry that Lottie and Chris have on stage. Marlene gets her chance to showcase her vocals in the song "In The Dark".

Every main host in the real Eurovision has an equally glamorous co-host, as does Marlene in the form of Sergei Pocholitzo, played by Chris Collington. No one can forget just how brilliantly Sir Terry Wogan used to comment on the acts, and that same slightly caustic, often tongue in cheek naughtiness, are alive and well with Sergei's commentary. An ideal role for Chris as he is the expert of on stage ad libbing. this is highlighted in the section where a member of the audience is chosen, completely at random by lucky dip There are also some excellent, and humorous costume changes to watch for, not that you'd miss them as there are about a dozen of them!

The whole show starts off with the big opening number called "The World Is Your Dancefloor", which I guarantee you'll not be able to get out of your head and performed by everyone.

So, onto the acts vying to take that Eurobeat trophy. Each act is individually directed by one of Gatepost's talented members, something that is never seen in standard theatre when there's only maybe a couple of Directors involved in a production. This also means that every act has that individual style of the Director, further creating individuality of the mini show of that act. The Directors being Jordan Neary, Chris Collington, Tessa Raum, Kiah Smith, Jessica Hin and Jude Cliffman.

Sweden is represented by Anna Lungstromberg portrayed by Kasia Cichocka complete with accompaniment from Tessa Raum, Jess Collis-Millward, Arfaa Butt, Alex Tavener and Ellie Coulthard with the song "Semaphore Of Love".

Poland's entry is sung by the trio consisting of Christie O'Connor, Josh Neville and Dean Porter, under the name of Churning Circuits, and here is where we first get to see the flesh flashed, along with some saucy choreography.

Jude Cliffman, as Earnestasia with dancers Laura Stone, Ellie Heap and Sarah Butler represent Romania with a delicious slice of gothic horror inviting us to "Listen", where part of the props include large body parts!!

Gary Heap and Jess Collis-Millward represent the United Kingdom as Nigel and Nadine with their song "Why Don’t You Love Me Anymore?" with Gary looking remarkably like a certain ex PM and Jess looking like a member of Daft Punk.

Lithuania pay homage to Abba with the song "This Is How We Dance", which turns into another sauce-fest choreography wise, and great fun for Jordan Neary, Harvey Tavener, Luke Grainger and Kiah Smith to perform by what I could tell.

Arfaa Butt sings  the dreamy "Oh Aphrodite" as Persephone with backing dancers Claire Webb and Kasia Cichocka representing Greece.

Harvey Taverner as Mateus Villela represents Portugal with the song "Guy With A Guitar", and straight away seems to be the audience favourite, or is it just that Mateus is the token young heartthrob entry. As the song goes on we see more and more of Mateus. Keep a watch on the video screen behind Mateus though as at times there seems to be additional lyrics that don't quite match what he sings. Josh Neville also makes an appearance at the end, but what has he been doing behind the structure where Mateus has been standing??? He definitely looks like the cat who got the cream (nudge nudge, wink wink).

There's a saucy group of nuns from Vatican City led by Mother Morag, played by Ellie Coulthard, backed by Tessa Raum, Jordan Neary, Alex Tavener and Sarah Butler sing about being a "Good Girl" with some very unholy costumes.

Estelle La Croix is the French entry and all kudos to Christie O'Connor for performing the song totally in French - well there's always one in Eurovision who performs in their mother tongue isn't there?. It's a dramatic love song called "Je Vous Deteste Tous".

Australia's entry comes courtesy of Corrinne and Steve, aka Claire Webb and Dean Porter with dancers and backing singers consisting of Ben Gray, Laura Stone, Ellie Heap and Josh Neville in various costumes. The song is called "Oh Steve", a tribute to the legendary Aussie naturalist Steve Irwin.

Norway's entry song is all about Vikings, called "The Vikings", and I will admit my personal favourite, and yes, I did vote for this one to win during the interval. Gary Heap, Luke Grainger, Jude Cliffman and Kiah Smith. Strangely this quartet are not listed in the programme under "Meet the Countries"

The whole show is Directed by Chris Collington. This show plays to every one of Chris's strengths. It's zany, risqué, bonkers and completely brilliant, all adjectives that could be used to describe the wonderful Christopher Collington.

Choreographed fabulously by Lottie Lodge. I would not be able to pick out a favourite choreographed piece from this show because even the routines that looked naff were wonderfully entertaining. By the way, the more naff dance routines are actually supposed to look naff, just in case anyone thinks that I'm criticising the choreography.

Apart from the main acts there's a chance for the ensemble to entertain in a couple of big numbers like "The World Is My Dancefloor" and the big opening number for the second act, "May The Best Team Win", as well as the finale.

Lighting is by Steve Greatorex and is possibly the best light show that I've seen at The Duchess. It shouts the magnitude of the event with some very nice lighting designs, which are made to look even better (if possible) with the use of stage haze. This is big production lighting and looked amazing.

Sound is by Granite AV and was absolutely perfect. It was big and meaty with perfect sound cues all round.

What also makes this show another level is the video design and the projections. Chris Collington, who I know is an absolute Eurovision devotee has created a video design to match anything that Eurovision could create. the technical side of the show is insane, and everything worked perfectly. 

I was really impressed with the QR code system for audience members to be able to vote through their mobiles as well as the scoreboard which totted up the scores as they were delivered. The second half also showed representatives of the various countries relayed live with some great backdrops. Technically this show just has to be the most adventurous that I have ever seen locally. Sam Bunting is the Qlab operator (I had to google that one) and if you're not sure what Qlab is..... "QLab is powerful macOS software for designing and playing back sound, video, light, and show control cues". Entertaining as well as educational this show is.

And finally, a show like this is made slicker thanks to a hard working stage crew. Tilly Bedford (SM), Mark Green (DSM) and the Stage Crew being Steph Dennett.

Anyone who has even a passing adoration for Eurovision and the campness of the event will LOVE this show, but hurry up and get your tickets as it's only on until Saturday 13 September. Its douze points from me.

I can't think of a better way to start your weekend.... and don't forget to buy those clackers and flags!

Photos by Martin Holtom.