"The Flint Street Nativity" by Tim Firth

Nottingham Lace Market Theatre.

Written by Tim Firth, who also wrote "Calendar Girls" and "Kinky Boots", here is a festive comedy about a class of seven year olds of Flint Street School who are putting on their annual Nativity for their parents.

For anyone who have had, or have children, and have attended the school Nativity, you'll have experienced the joy of a bunch of seven year olds singing, when they can remember the correct words, and acting for their parents. In this play though all the kids are played by adults.

We see the internal squabbles, the jealous streaks, the workings of a seven year old's mind and also some insecurities that lie with some of the youngsters. 

The ending see the actors then playing the parents, and also gives an incite to the background of the children's characters, showing that the apples do not often fall far from the tree. There's also a lovely little twist involving one particular character at the end.

Danielle Hall plays Jenny, who is very excited at being cast in the main Nativity role, Mary, and Jenny is adamant that everyone, especially her Joseph knows all the script, and when he doesn't she plays his parts as well. You could see in Danielle's eyes that she loved playing this role as they sparkled.

Clare Moss is the Shepherd, who is played in this play within a play by Zoe. Zoe has her own sheep (just the one) which is explained in the song that she sings.

Michelle Arscott plays Jess whose character at Flint Street is Wise Gold. Guess which gift this wise man brings?

Caitlin Bowers plays Ashley playing Gabriel:not one of the angels but THE angel!

Roisin Kelly is the Angel, which in the Nativity is played by Shamima, a character that literally lights up the play.

Jamie Goodliffe plays Marcus who in the Nativity doubles as the Star and the Ass. One of the best comic character roles in the play as he gets to say naughty words, especially in his solo carol parody. He has really got into the mindset of a seven year old with his physicality of Marcus.

Aaron Connolly also doubles up on roles playing Herod as well as Joseph is also a magical role. The Flint Street character he plays is Ryan, and again as Herod he morphs into moody seven year old, and as Joseph a completely different character.

Richard Fife plays Adrian who in the play plays Wise Frankencense. Adrian has an issue with his lisp so having to say Frankencense is just a bit of an issue with Adrian, so he changes his gift at the last minute.

James Whitby plays Bradley who gets the role of the Innkeeper in the Nativity. Now to understand Bradley you need to know that he has a bit of a thing for Jenny, but there are rumours that Jenny fancies Ryan, and as they play Mary and Joseph, deciding about the biblical pair staying at his Inn, gives Bradley the power to accept and reject. James is one actor that i knew would love this character driven seven year old, and James showed this onstage.

And last but not least playing the role of the Narrator is Joseph Smith. Joseph is new to the Lace Market Theatre but I've known Joseph for a few years now and have seen him perform in several productions, so know what a cracker of an actor he is. This role is perfect for him as he gets to dig deep into a seven year old's mind who has just realised that not everything at home is rosy while perfecting the script to please his Dad. It's quite rare though to see a seven year old with a beard and moustache.

The class teacher, Mrs Horrocks is never seen but is indicated by the stage being swathed in a red light. We never hear Mrs Horrocks but the children's reactions say everything we need to know about the teacher. Another character we don't get to see, but is mentioned several times is Peter Crouch, who does make an appearance in silhouette at the end.

Directed by David Dunford, assisted by Chris Henry, there have been some reworking of the Firth script to bring everything up to date, although I wonder how many audience members can remember the high street store "Fords".  I am sure that it was intended but no one wanted to have the French flag to wave during the Nativity, indicating a topical note over the football. 

I also loved the parodies of the carols and hymns which told the stories of the children as well as the adults in an amusing and novel way. Take a careful listen to the new lyrics to understand what I mean.

I watched the original TV production from 1999 before seeing the stage version and you can really tell the amount of work that has gone into the production to make the script more relevant, and that in itself adds more mirth to the production.

The set is designed by Alison Holland and straight away shows that this is an updated version of the 1999 version by announcing that this is Flint Street School 2022 as paper flags at the back of the set. I actually felt like I was visiting an infant school.

Lighting Design is by Allan Green and Sound Design by Philip Hogarth, both areas were perfectly executed, and it didn't take long to realise that the red lighting was the teacher, Mrs Horrocks, indicating that non physical things can be highlighted by just a change of light.

The projection at the end is by Matthew Allcock.

The costumes throughout are by Max Bromley.

And we all know that a Nativity is not complete without a pianist, and doing the honours here is Emma Kerrison.

We all love a play where adults act as daft as a seven year old and this is the ideal musical festive offering. I also have a feeling that the actors had just as much fun as the audience did with this show.

"Flint Street Nativity" is at the Nottingham Lace Market Theatre until Saturday 17 December 

 "Goldilocks & The Three Bears"

The Neville Studios, Nottingham Playhouse.

Written by Anna Wheatley this is a new 21st Century rewriting of the classic Goldilocks story aimed at the three- to five-year-olds.

Goldilocks, also known as Goldylox, loves to dance, but dancing is banned in her home by her repressive mother and father, who lock her in the cellar without food when she is caught having a boogie. Well, on this occasion Goldylox has been thrown into her cellar prison, without dinner, when she spots a beautiful butterfly. Goldy tells the butterfly that it needs to fly to the enchanted Sherwood Forest. the butterfly tells Goldy to follow it, which she does by sneaking out of the cellar through an unlocked window.

Goldy follows the butterfly through Nottingham City Centre, through the Nottingham Beach and to Sherwood Forest - and that's quite a distance, no wonder her feet ached!. Once within Sherwood Forest, she finds the house of The Three Bears.

Now, I mentioned that this reworking is bang up to date and here we discover just how up to date the writing is, and all of the positive vibes that the young audience imbibe by just taking in this story. It's positivity covers being free to be yourself, being kind to yourself and others and belonging. It also introduces us to two Daddy Bears who are married; Big Bear and Papa Bear, plus Small Bear, who has ambitions to be a pop star, completely backed by her two dads. The Bears love to dance so they invite Goldy to stay with them.

Julia Bird who plays Goldylox quickly wins over her young audience members with her nifty dance moves and through laughter, which includes some feathered friends, now there's irony for you - Julia Bird and her relationship with the puppet birds! Great costume for Goldy, clad in gold lame tracksuit which sparkles and shines as much as Julia herself.

Playing all three bears - Small Bear is a puppet though - is Reece Carter, who also keeps the kids occupied whilst they are filing in to the studio space by chatting to them and straight away making that connection.

There's magic, music and puppetry and a lovely magnetism between both actors and their audience. You just need to watch the young members to see how much they are loving the production, taking an active part on the show when invited, and sometimes when they were not, but that's the fun of a young audience.

The music, which by the way is extremely catchy, is written by Jack Quarton, who is also the Musical Director. Ensuring that there are enough simple hooks in the songs to bring the kids on board and joining in.

Directed by Hannah Stone the piece is paced perfectly to deliver every positive nuance while keeping the story simple but fresh, enabling that the messages were planted in the minds of the aimed audience.

A multi faceted set, designed by Imogen Gulliford, which creates a new scene at the switch of a piece of scenery. The three chairs even hold comedy elements, as do the beds and even more magic with the bowls of porridge and the cake made by Papa Bear, which disappears before your very eyes when eaten by the ravenous Goldylox.

There're also video captions to help the kids follow the story and what is being impressed at that particular stage of the story.

As an "older kid", I was completely enthralled by this reworking and the completely modern feel of this new version of "Goldilocks & the Three Bears" and could see just how much magic was cast over the audience by these two wonderful actors and storytellers, and the simple but effective sentiments weaved into the storyline.

For adults, it also highlights that not all children are cared for as they should be and that this was the reason for why Goldilocks did what she felt she needed to do, just to survive. Working on several levels, it's a story that can teach us all a lesson and keep us mindful, especially at this time of the year.

"Goldilocks & The Three Bears" is at The Neville Studio at The Nottingham Playhouse until Saturday 31 December, so please go to the Nottingham Playhouse website to check times and dates.

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 "Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs"

Nottingham Theatre Royal.

Now, here is a pantomime with a twist that I really didn't expect. Written by Harry Michaels, with additional material by Joe Pasquale, this classic Christmas tale reverses the tale somewhat, which catches you off guard, but don't expect me to say what it is! Go and see it to find out; you will not be disappointed.

We find Muddles and his Mum, Mrs Nelly Nightnurse along with Princess Snow White, whose Mother is the Wicked Queen Lucretia. Lucretia wants to be the fairest in the land and manages to keep tabs on this, thanks to her magical talking mirror. Watching over them is The Spirit Of Pantomime with her magic ways. Enter the handsome Prince William from West Bridgford who falls madly in love with Snow White, and vice versa.

Lucretia orders Muddles and Nelly to take Snow White into the woods on a picnic and then kill her. They obviously don't do this and with a little help from The Spirit Of Pantomime they hide her in a cottage in the woods, owned by the Magnificent Seven. Lucretia finds out that Snow White is not out of the picture and disguises herself as an old woman with a big red juicy apple for Snow White.

Okay, so nothing new there, but then comes the twist..........

Joe pasquale plays Muddles, and with Joe you get what you see; a joke machine that spills jokes out almost non-stop, along with many "fart" jokes, which the younger audience members love. Many of the jokes are old jokes but there are quite a few that even I have not heard before, and they buoy well with the old "groan" jokes. A master of comedy, whether it be physical, joke telling or with effects, Joe makes the perfect panto participant, and there was no muddle when choosing this master of mirth and merriment.

Faye Tozer, from Steps, plays The Wicked Queen. I've seen Faye perform in her acting role previously so I know what a talented actor she is, and she balances the nasty Lucretia role perfectly with comedy, especially in the "chav" letter section to The Prince from Snow White. Of course, we get to hear those wonderfully tuneful tonsils as well, keeping us waiting until the finale for the eagerly anticipated, and expected, Steps medley of "Stomp", "Better Best Forgotten" and, of course, "Tragedy", which brought the whole theatre to their feet, dancing, clapping, singing and doing the Steps choreography.

David Robbins is marvellous as Dame, and is one of a pair of local talents in this year's panto. I've not seen David as a Dame character previously, but has rapidly rocketed right to the top of my Dame list. He presents his character in the classic style, and of course the twelve costume changes. David creates all of his own wigs as well and each one seemed to get higher and more outrageous than the previous one.

West End star Jamal Kane Crawford plays The Prince. Another new name to me but a worthy Prince with his good looks, fine voice, and dazzling smile.

Lucy Ireland plays Snow White, and you don't even have to guess the role because the costume gives her away. That is one thing that I really like about this year's panto; it's gone back to the traditional style of panto where you just need to look at the character to know exactly who they are supposed to be and their character. That in itself makes everything easier for younger members and breaks the ice straight away. A lovely voice which is highlighted spectacularly in her duet with The Spirit Of Pantomime in "Someday My Prince Will Come".

Natalia Brown is a young woman I've seen on local stages over the years, so it's lovely to see her on stage with such well-known names. Natalia plays The Spirit Of Pantomime, and she looks absolutely gorgeous and gets to wear some beautiful costumes, dripping in sparkle and white frills. I've heard Natalia's vocals before so I know what a lovely voice she has. She looks completely unphased by sharing the stage with names like Joe, Faye and Jamal, proving her talent and professionalism, something that anyone who has seen Natalia before is well aware of.

I loved the cheeky, lovable Magnificent Seven who were @Simeon Dyer, Karen Anderson, Willie Coppen (who is also a local actor from Derby), Blake Lisle, Andrew Martin, Katarzyna Meczynska and Alireza Sarebani.

Directed by Alan Harding, who has got this panto spot on. It is only fifty minutes each act, its story is delivered without any faff, there are just the right number of songs in here, and I knew every one of them straight away. Beautifully paced which made the time fly by and ensuring that you left wanting just that bit more; but what more could be given as there was everything but the kitchen sink in it.

The giant magic talking mirror rose from the orchestra pit shrouded in smoke and green lighting, there was slapstick, dance, a brilliant comedy song and dance routine of "If I Was Not In Panto", which involved Joe getting punched, prodded, whacked with a cricket bat and completely abused. He also ended up with a sore bottom, which is a separate incident, there was a joke truth tank where every time a lie was told items of clothing were whisked away from Joe. And then there is that magical flying car.

Choreography by Sharon Harding was so tight from the ensemble and also not too difficult as to show up the non-dancing cast members

Sound Design is by Ross Portway and Lighting Design is by Rory Beaton. Both specialist areas were excellently executed. Only one mic cue miss but the lighting was outstanding; it was akin to being in a club at times such was the power of both sound and light.

The Musical Director is Sarah Burrell who along with her band created a lovely crisp and aurally satisfying backing.

There were some brilliant songs performed superbly, especially the theme that ran through from start to finish, "With A Smile And A Song", parodies of Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" and Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart" and Lizzo's "About Damn Time", as well as traditional fare from Disney's film "Snow White" with "Heigh Ho", "Whistle While You Work" and the aforementioned "Someday My Prince Will Come".

Possibly my favourite 2022 panto and one of the best pantomimes I've seen for a while at the Nottingham Theatre Royal. A classic and traditional pantomime for the whole family.

"Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs", the fairest panto of them all, is at the Nottingham Theatre Royal until Sunday 8 January 2023.

 "Puss In Boots"

Nottingham Arts Theatre.

The panto writing super team of Amanda Hall and Matt Wesson are back again with another fun-filled pantomime that is purr-fect for the whole family this Christmas. This will be Amanda's tenth consecutive panto that she has penned. The combination of this pair's talents guarantee that they know exactly what it takes to entertain audiences of every age.

The action is set in the small Welsh town of Poppity Ping where Colin Pasta and his siblings, Mia Pasta, Marco Pasta and Benito Pasta live with their Mum, Dame Penny Pasta. King Ivor, who lives with his daughter Princess Bethan, employs Sir Hector the Tax Inspector, who's job is to collect the taxes to give to the Ogre, who would abduct the Princess if not paid. But there is a twist in this tale.........

Colin, who works for his Mum, as well as in the Cobblers to make ends meet has a bit of a soft spot for the Princess and dreams of marrying her, but surely only a Prince can marry a Princess? Colin also has a pet cat, a stray, who once Vanessa The Shoe Fairy has cast a spell on the boots, intended for Colin, Puss finds his voice and gets to help Colin out. Meow? Well, you'll have to see the panto to discover what happens.

Sian Hooton is Vanessa the Show Fairy, who kicks the panto off. Typically, in rhyme and in a Welsh brogue, she kept the flow of the panto going.

Mike Pearson is Dame Penny Pasta, and a welcome return to the frock and heels for Mike. Nottingham is blessed with dames, well they used to say that there were seven to every young man in the City, but seriously folks, in Nottingham there are some very talented male actors who make excellent Dames, and Mike is one of them. And who better to write Dame jokes than another Dame, Matt Wesson. Mike really worked hard to get the audience in panto mood and succeeds by the end. Great costumes, by Jules Sheppard, and make up and a nice delivery of lines, even with just a little help in the pit.

Emily-Hope Wilkins is Colin Pasta, and one of many very strong voices in this cast. Instantly likeable and packed with energy, and just wait until you see Colin's wedding outfit; very stylish.

Mason Hart as Puss, or should that be Galmour-puss? Love the droll delivery of the lines, as if he knows that he is so above everyone else; well don't all cats? Lovely regional accent atop of one classy cat, and even though I was only aware of Puss's song in this panto, "Fun Fun Fun", because I have the "Cat In The Hat" soundtrack and I did like the "seaside/music hall" style humour of this song.

Tilly Wishart plays Mia Pasta. Another character who has bundles of energy and a strong singing voice, and always looks like she is having fun whenever she is on stage.

Patrick McChrystal plays Marco and Laura Ellis plays Benito. On or off stage they make a great pairing and bounce off each other well. In Act Two there is a great scene where they both apply for jobs working for Sir Hector. It's very reminiscent of the Abbot & Costello sketch "Who's on First", but is great fun and well delivered by Paddy, Laura and Joe.

Joe Butler is the nasty Sir Hector the Tax Inspector, and I actually enjoyed this nasty piece of work the more the panto progressed because there were layers of Hector's character that I hadn't expected. Normally with a bad guy, they can be one dimensional, but this character is deeper and darker, and I get a sneaking suspicion that Joe enjoyed playing this character very much.

I did have to smile to myself at one part in Act Two where to my right-hand side there was a particular "gobby kid" who felt that they had to comment with great volume nearly all the way through the panto, and albeit not to this particular child, one of Hector's lines was "If you wanted to be in the panto, you should have come to rehearsals".

Princess Bethan's role is shared by Charlotte Barrington and Megan Leahy, and whichever actor you get to see play the Princess, you'll be in for a treat. Amelia Walton is Gwen, the Princess's best friend

Mike Newbold plays King Ivor, and what I love about Mike is that he will throw himself into any role. King Ivor is one of those roles that is made for Mike; slightly bumbling - King Ivor that is, not Mike. And he still manages to not look out of place in the several modern dance numbers in this panto.

There are two sets of teams over the performance period, Team Bolognaise (the team I saw) who were Daisy Hillery, Sadie Ridley, Chloe Sims, Ruby Armstrong, Savannah Ajula, Neveah Joihal, Grace Moroziuk and Sophia Rees, and Team Dragon who are Alannah Hills, Isobel Farr, Eliza Szejda, Hermione Cumbers, Olivia Finch, Emma Price, Mia Jacks, Sahazra Peddi and Betsy Stevens.

Directed by Cassie Hall, this is a song heavy panto, which may not all be recognisable songs to the average panto audience but there is a smattering of well-known tunes from over the decades. For me, I don't feel the inclusion of Puss's fur balls repetition added anything to the panto and was left wondering why they were included at all. That said the cast choice was spot on and was paced about right.

Loved the clever pasta puns and the Faster Master Pasta Maker scene, which was gentle slapstick, the Gnocchi continuation joke and audience participation as well as the puppets plus the aforementioned "What/Who" section, and of course the obligatory "groan" jokes as well some clever new jokes that I had not heard before.

Sound by Rob Kettridge, and this is the first show for a while that there have been no missed sound cues - even the Playhouse panto had one slight missed cue, but not one missed cue here at the Arts Theatre. And may I also say what a lovely clear sound throughout the show; I could hear every word and the music mix was fabulously balanced.

Lighting by Oliver Read, and I know that if Oliver is in charge of the lighting design, then it's in professional and safe hands, and I was not disappointed. A great light design operated cleanly by Arona Jones with stealthily operated follow spots by Cathy Bodman and George Wilson.

Musical Direction is by Samantha Hedley, who I know of by her work with the Kristian Thomas Company.

As previously mentioned, there were a lot of songs that may not be instantly recognisable. "Opening Up" from "Waitress" opens the show up, George Ezra's album track "Gold Rush Kid", while being uptempo and catchy, would be lost on most people. There are however plenty of recognisable songs to tap a toe or a foot to.

The choreography is by Charlotte Barrington, Sian Hooton and Megan Leahy. I loved the short tap dance routine as well as the short ballet routine, in fact all of the choreography was appreciated by this particular Strictly enthusiast.

Loved the set design, by Amanda and Cassie Hall. Loved the energy, loved the jokes (good and groanable) and love the value for money entertainment you get with the Arts Theatre; almost three hours long.

Not only that you can keep yourself warm in the interval with some gorgeously fruity mulled wine and mince pies.

"Puss In Boots" will be at the Nottingham Arts Theatre until Sunday 18 December.