"The Great Christmas Cracker Heist" by Jamie Lakritz

Beeston Players

Round Hill School, Beeston.

Everyone at DG Crackers is looking forward to their Christmas bonus, and the staff party. But things aren’t going as well as they seem at DG, despite the boss being able to afford a £26,000 bottle of posh vino, so the staff take steps to get the money they’re banking on.

This was a new play to me, the second new play on the bounce, and the second new play that I have loved seeing. The thing about new plays is that you have no expectations, and you really take notice of everything that happens and everything in the script, in short you concentrate on everything and drink it all in. Some drinks you feel like spitting out and some, like this one, you want to buy a second bottle to savour.

The script is wonderfully witty and the double twist at the end came as a real surprise. The characters are recognisable and believable; characters that most audience members will relate to and know someone like the play's characters.

The comedy is very natural, and written in a way that everyone can understand and get the full comedy element of. There's one scene with Sally and Colin, in his tight lycra, where Sally comments on his appearance which, after a slight delay from the audience caused gales of laughter. I think the delay was because Sally came right out with the comment and that it was unexpected from Sally. Either way, that comment brought the house down.

Simon, the sales manager, who is having marital issues with his wife, Victoria, is played beautifully by Tom Jenkins, and that story is played out to the bitter end, but turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

Sally, the cleaner who is not the brightest spark, but incredibly lovable, is played the incredibly lovable Sue Frost. Her pace and comic timing in this role is perfect.

Rita, the factory supervisor is played by Gwen Murray and is a delight to watch.

Bridget, played by Ali Parnham, is an artisan, or as she describes her job, she folds the crackers.

Alice, the other artisan is played by Sarah Nicholson.

Paul Langston plays Brian, the joke writer, and we get to experience the standard of jokes that DG Crackers include with their crackers throughout the show. Be warned there are plenty of groans to be emitted with Brian's "talent". He's also a bit of a joker when it comes to Secret Santa as well!

Colin is in charge of creating the "bang" with the cracker, something he takes great delight in, after his previous job in explosives. Due to this though he has developed a slight hearing problem, which in itself causes much mirth. An ideal role for Gary Frost, who also gets to play Christmas party DJ and lothario as Colin.

Debbie Blake is wonderful as the local rag reporter, there at the workplace to create a feature on people who have to work in the Seasonal industry business. The visual image for George, the reporter, is perfect and great fun.

Liz Austin plays Carol, who is PA to the boss, Mr Gordon, the CEO of DG Crackers who has just taken delivery of that very expensive 1971 bottle of wine. Carol also plays a very important part in the downfall of her boss.

Mr Gordon is played by Ian Greatorex. Gordon is very unfeeling about his staff and also with the decision to have to let them all go, and just before Christmas as well. What an absolute rotter! But in all good comeuppance stories, the underdogs get their day over the boss, and in what a way, which is where the twists are executed.

Kevin Fairbrother plays the police officer who initially drops in to the workplace after a complaint about the noise from the office party. What do you expect when the DJ is suffering from reduced hearing. Mind you I have in my time come across many DJs who seem to have hearing issues and can't quite hear just how loud the music really is. A lovely, and ironic piece of observational comedy writing.

And last, but by no means least is the youngest member of the cast, and making her debut acting appearance with Beeston Players is Brooke Harris as Phoebe. Phoebe is a technology savvy teenager with attitude who helps the staff out in one vital area of the heist. Who'd have thought to get a teenager to play the part of a moody teenager? Brooke looked completely at ease in this cameo role, and I hope that she continues with this quality of acting.

Directed by Barbara Barton, everything about this production was just right. the pace, the casting, the costumes, all adding something to the comedy rich play.

The action all takes place in one room, the staff room of the factory, and designed by Sam Williams. You can never fully rely on props or the set to behave itself fully though and the door to the offices just had to keep upstaging the actors by not staying shut, creating a nightmare scenario for the Sound operator, also Sam Williams. In a way it also caused more comedy.

The Lighting Design is by Nina Tunnicliff, who also acted as Producer. Simple fade to darkness operations, especially effective in the second act of the play.

All the costumes were apt for the characters - it's been a while though since I last saw this amount of lycra on stage - and combined with the hair and make-up, by Maxine Taylor, all characters were totally believable, which made the story concocted by the workers utterly doable.

When teamed up with the brilliantly friendly and approachable front of house crew, your visit to Round Hill School and the production, will make you want to become a regular supporter of this drama group, if you've never seen one of their productions before.

"The Great Christmas Cracker Heist" by The Beeston Players can be caught for the final performance on Saturday afternoon at 2.30pm and tickets are only £8.00, and that's no joke!

"Waiting For God" by Riverside Drama Company.

Duchess Theatre, Long Eaton.

The TV series, "Waiting For God", starring Stephanie Cole ran for five series in the 1990s, and then a play was devised by the author of the TV series, Michael Aitkens.

Set in Bayview Retirement Home run by slimy, greedy Harvey Baines, ex-war correspondent and photographer Diana Trent is furious at where life has now landed her and determined to make her presence felt at every opportunity, especially aiming her wrath at "the idiot Baines".

In the neighbouring apartment is ex-accountant Tom Ballard, deposited here as his daughter-in-law can’t stand him in the house any longer. Far from being upset and resentful, he optimistically regards this as the next "adventure" and happily "switches off" to indulges in flights of fancy, including telling Diana he has just visited the moon.

The TV programme can still be seen on certain satellite channels and is just as funny as it always was in play form. There are loads of visual gags but the real jewel in the crown is in the script, which is sharp, caustic and extremely well observed, showing that just because a person is of a certain age, there's still plenty of fire in the tank!

Playing Tom is Martin Holtom, and I can't think of anyone else who could play this part. If you can imagine Harry Secombe, in his Goons era, playing this part, you'll get a feel of the zaniness, as well as the naughtiness behind those eyes. And you get to see more of Martin than you may have ever seen before as Tom! With a role like this there's also a requirement of comic timing, and that is there as well.

What i really liked about Martin's performance, in fact with all the performances, was the pace. There was space for the laughter, and this play is so well written, and the actors so adept at what they do, they were confident of where the laughs came, and the strength of those laughs, and time was given to get those laughs.

The "battleaxe" of Diana is played by Liz Turner, who is the furthest away from a battleaxe but I've seen her play some excellent powerful matriarchal women in her time. This is another example of Liz's wonderfully comic character roles. The role is delivered with such natural ability that it almost felt like you weren't watching an actor, but being a fly on the wall.

Liz bought out the roaring lion in Diana but we also saw the softer side of the character. When in conversation with any of the other characters the different chemistries were plain to see, showing what a lot of work has been invested in the characters and presenting those relationships that we all loved from the TV series.

Harvey Baines is played by Dan Bates. I've seen Dan in many roles over the years and Dan gets under the skin of every character he plays. There is a certain sliminess and accent that sounds like Baines could have hailed from Peckham, akin to Boycie. But you can't really dislike this character too much because there's an inner ignorance, maybe naivety, with Baines, which means that you find yourself laughing at him, especially in the scene about the golf club rejection form.

Samantha Badman plays Jane, who in the original TV series was played by Janine Duvitski and visually there is an obvious character recognition. I recently described Sam as chameleonic and, yet again, she has morphed herself physically into this character. There is no part that Samantha can't make her own; be it Shakespeare, a Gothic detective or a shy retirement home manager who just wants to be noticed for being a woman, with needs, and wants, and after her discovery of Diana and Tom's blossoming relationship and listening to Diana, much more!!

Jenni Wright plays Sarah, the devoted niece to Diana. Some really nice family bonding moments between these two, especially when Sarah reveals that she is pregnant and Diana becomes Sarah's birthing partner. It's the conversation between Diana and Sarah prior to this as to why Diana never had children of her own that makes the hospital scene most poignant. There're also some lovely comic moments with this pair, especially as Sarah's fiancé's name is Richard; well, you can imagine!

Paul Norris is Tom's son Geoffrey, and another wonderful performance by Paul as Geoffrey. We get to hear all the back story about Geoffrey's wife and the relationship with Tom, as well as very different relationships with everyone else from the accountant to the plumber to the Jehovah's witness who came a knocking! The original TV son always seemed to be just a bit weedy to me but here, Geoffrey has more character and you find yourself feeling sorry for him, in a non-weedy way.

Moya Magee plays Millie, Dr Gyno and another Doctor, Dave Wilson plays Basil, Dr Henry and the Undertaker. All of these characters are minor characters but provide major laughs.

Denise Sparrow, who is the Bayview religious person, who can never remember if she is there to perform a wedding or a funeral, is played by Celia Billau. By the end it's like a cut price Richard Curtis film with two possible weddings and a funeral.

Directed by Lizzie Norris, who by the way could not have chosen a better cast for this production, has created a smash hit comedy on the Duchess Theatre stage. This is a play that isn't performed very often, and in this case, it should be done on a more regular basis, especially when performed in such a wonderfully comic way as this one. The laughs came thick and fast, and not just giggles but big old belly laughs. Lizzie was assisted in the directing by John Sully.

There are laughs in here derived from unexpected and possibly shocking responses from people of a certain age who most people would expect not to speak in the way that they do in the play. It shows that people aged sixty plus have a sense of humour, have a life and still most of their body parts still working; some may be a bit rusty, but still working! Proof indeed that the older generation are not ready to be written off just yet.

The set design, also by Lizzie Norris is simple in parts and not so simple in other scenes, such as the hospital scenes. With many scene changes, which were done with music by Schubert, as in the TV show, and stage blackouts, giving a feel of the scene changes of a TV programme, just done live, and done very well I may add, on stage. Thanks to the stage crew Celia Billau and Dave Wilson and the Stage manager, Donna Osmond, keeping the pace for the scene changes running smoothly.

Sound Design is by Keith Salway and Rob Osmond. The soundscape which ranged from ambulance sirens to birdsong to a seaside atmosphere to the screeching tyres of the borrowed sports car were executed perfectly.

Lighting is thanks to Dave Martin, allowing us to digest the small scenes within the production with the stage blackouts to divide the scenes, as well as all the usual lighting required for everything else within the play. Non-intrusive, as it's supposed to be.

The costumes matched the actors perfectly, and by that, I mean that by looking at the costumes themselves, you'd be able to guess which character the costume is for. they helped create the personality of the character. Mina Machin and the company made sure that everyone looked as they were supposed to with the gathering of the costumes.

Thursday night, opening night, was sold out, and the audience were rapturous in their appreciation of the cast and production team, as well as the beautifully written script.

Don't wait to get a ticket for this brilliant show, get one or two tickets NOW!

"Waiting For God" is at the Duchess Theatre until Saturday 19 November.

 "The Nutcracker" by Northern Ballet.

Nottingham Theatre Royal.

It really does feel like Christmas is just around the corner with this gorgeous ballet performed by the Northern Ballet with music by Tchaikovsky.

A friend said that they would not see a ballet because there are no words and they would not be able to understand it. What rubbish. These dancers are not only incredible dancers but they are wonderful actors as well. They tell the story through dance and acting. Who needs words when they are such fantastic story tellers.

Seeing ballet on stage is one of the most wonderful, enjoyable and relaxing art forms that everyone should experience ballet at some time.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, these dancers are athletes as they make their dance colleagues seem as if they fly through the air. There is one section where two male dancers are topless and you can see the muscle in their backs. You have to be at your physical peak to make ballet look as effortless as these artists do.

Anyway, here's a quick insight to "The Nutcracker"...

Twas the night before Christmas and the Edwards family are preparing for their Christmas party, Clara imagines the wonderful things that might happen. Her brother Frederick can’t miss a moment to tease her and is only stopped by the arrival of their older sister, Louise.

There's lots of dancing and as the jollification builds, Uncle Drosselmeyer arrives with a huge box, out of which come two sets of life-sized dancing dolls. This is not the only treat he has in store and he presents Clara and Frederick with a strange wooden soldier doll.

Clara is in awe of the little wooden man and is even more surprised when Uncle Drosselmeyer reveals the doll’s ability to crack nuts! Frederick quickly becomes jealous, a tussle follows and soon the doll lies broken on the floor. Her Uncle manages to repair the doll, the party ends and Clara leaves her Nutcracker by the tree before going to bed. Unseen, Drosselmeyer remains behind and casts his magic…

Rachael Gillespie (Clara), Saeka Shirai (Louise/Sugar Plum Fairy), Fillipo di Viliio (Frederock), Mlindi Kulashe (Uncle Drosselmeyer), Bruno Serraclara (The Mouse King), Jonathan Hanks (James/The Cavalier), Harris Beattie (The Nutcracker), Sean Bates (Mr Edwards) and Abigail Prudames (Mrs Edwards) are the main dancers but there are so many incredibly talented dancers that bring this dream alive. There are also a group of young dancers on show from Gedling Ballet School along with the Principals and Soloists and other dancers.

Musical Director, Jonathan Lo, conducted this wonderful orchestra, and there is nothing better than hearing a full orchestra play some of the most beautiful music written. Some audience members noted that there were more recognisable pieces in "The Nutcracker Suite" than they had realised. So true.

The wonderful set design is by Charles Cusick Smith and has everything you'll ever want from a classy pantomime set. There's loads of glitter and snow and forest scenes and a wonderful "Royal" box, a gorgeous Christmas Tree in a sumptuously decorated room and so much more.

Costume Design, with assistance by Christopher Dudgeon, Choreographer and Director is David Nixon CBE. There's a reason why David has been acknowledged with a CBE this year, and the proof of that acknowledgement can be seen on the stage.

It's like watching live Disney before your very eyes. It's magical. Was this all really a dream had by Clara or was it true? Well, it really is true; this production is an absolute dream to behold.

The review is not the longest, but that takes nothing away from this production. You wouldn't praise every cog in a machine that works perfectly, you just praise the beauty of the machine, and that is what Northern Ballet, and this production is like; a perfectly running machine with many cogs that make everything work.

If you've never seen a ballet before, go see it. Take your kids to see it. Take your parents and Grandparents to see it because there is something for absolutely everyone in this Christmas aperitif, complete with a cherry on the top.

"The Nutcracker" is at the Nottingham Theatre Royal until Saturday 19 November.

 "Hay Fever" by Noel Coward

Nottingham Lace Market Theatre.

As part of the Centenary celebrations for the Lace Market Theatre, they are producing the Noel Coward play "Hay Fever", which was written in 1924.

"Hay Fever" is set in an English country house in the 1920s, and deals with the four eccentric members of the Bliss family, Judith and David Bliss and their children Sorel and Simon, and their outlandish behaviour when they each invite a guest to spend the weekend. The self-centred behaviour of the hosts finally drive their guests to flee while the Blisses are so engaged in a family row that they do not notice their guests' furtive departure.

Coward once stated that this play had no plot and very few witty lines. I disagree. I've always enjoyed Noel Coward's witty writing and, even though the comedy is written about life a hundred years' ago, a funny line can transcend the years when written to the standard that Coward writes. It is based on, and influenced by a weekend that Coward spent with friends and only took three days to pen.

Helen Sharp, who plays Judith Bliss, really brought to mind the comedy stylings of Patricia Routledge - one of my favourite comedy character actors. Whether Patricia played this role in her extremely varied and successful career I know not but while watching the play, I received images of Dame Patricia, channelled by Helen. Judith is a "retired" actor, or should that be "resting", who has a longing to return to the stage, encouraged by her family.

Fraser Wanless plays Judith's husband, David, a novelist who is in the process of finishing his latest book. I have come to expect a classy performance from Fraser, and he does not disappoint as Fraser is one classy actor.

The daughter, Sorel, is played by Rosie Randall. Sorel takes after her mother in the flirting department and is actually caught in the library with Sandy Tyrell, who is Judith's guest. Judith is non-plussed by this as she has eyes for Richard!

Simon Bliss, the son, is played by Luke Willis. Simon is an interesting character who, we discover, is not that bothered about personal hygiene, visually apparent form his first scene of the play. He is the more laid-back member of the family. At times Simon is almost horizontal in his laid-back approach, at other times he is like an excited puppy.

Sandy, played by Harrison Lee, is a fan of Judith's; wide -eyed and a little unsure of himself and how to conduct himself inside his idol's home. Suitably nervous around his idol and played to perfection by Harrison.

Myra Arundel is the vamp invited by Simon, and played by Tamzin Grayson-Gaunt, who I imagine really enjoyed playing this juicy role.

Jonathan Cleaver plays diplomat Richard Greatham, who Judith enjoys flirting mercilessly with. I love the part when Jonathan tentatively kisses Judith on the back of her neck, and the over dramatic reaction he receives from her.

The last guest is Jackie Coryton, a flapper and the invited guest of David. Jackie is played by Tabitha Daniels. When Judith catches them kissing there's another exaggerated theatrical scene where we find David playing up to his wife. There is a lot of playing up to la Diva, as confirmed by Sorel when she explains to Sandy that she plays the theatrical game for Judith's benefit, as "one always plays up to Mother in this house; it's a sort of unwritten law."

Finally, there is Clara, Judith's housekeeper, played by Cynthia Marsh. This is one of my favourite characters in "Hay Fever" as she is the most grounded and down to earth character, often treating them all with disdain, which is where much of Clara's comedy lies.

Directed by Peter Konowalik, and assisted by Wayne Parkin. What I especially like about this production is the pace that they play is taken at, and that gives time for the comedy to register with the audience. Many times I've seen lines slightly rushed and there's no time to take in a comic line, and before you know it some of the comedy is lost. The pace is perfect and the full glory of Coward's wit is appreciated in all its' glory. There's also a nice little musical piece added, as this is not a musical and adds whimsicality to Judith's flirty scenes.

The set is wonderfully lush with five different entrance/exit points, including down the middle of the auditorium. I won't say too much about the set as it's one that you need to see to drink in the whole 1920's affect. The set itself is designed by Emma Jane Pegg.

Lighting for this show is by David Billen and the sound is by Simon Carter. Smooth and perfectly executed in both areas.

Also adding to the decadence of the period are the costumes. Act Two shows the characters done up to the nines with immaculate tuxedos and gorgeous evening wear for the ladies. Max Bromley has done this production proud with the ladies and gentlemen's evening wear.

The ladies' hair and make up is thanks to Linda Croston and Lily Goult, and add the finishing touches to the whole look.

"Hay Fever" is always in the top choices of Noel Coward's plays, up there with the marvellous "Blithe Spirit", "Private Lives" and "Present Laughter", and now I can tick off "Hay Fever" from my Noel Coward plays list.

"Hay Fever" is at the Nottingham Lace Market Theatre until Saturday 19 November, if you can still get a ticket, as this play is one not to be sneezed at. If only all fevers were such marvellous fun!