“Vaginal Discharge” by Florence Bell
Nottingham New Theatre

Often the title of a new play gives a bit of an incite into what the play is about; erm… well…OK, it's all about women's issues. Things that us blokes know of but really know nothing about.... basically because we're not women!

Flippant I know but, like the male character, King,the only male character in this play shows, we blokes are pretty ignorant about what happens to a woman's body, and what they endure.

The four, all female cast set out to educate the male majority audience tonight, and I found myself being educated in an entertaining way, not unlike Eve Ensler's ground breaking "Vagina Monologues". You really do leave the theatre a little wiser than when you went in.

We start out watching a follow up to a TV interview about wash powder where Catherine actually said the "V - D" word on prime time TV. From then on we go through several scenes with Catherine and her family including their two daughters, one just starting her periods, highlighting the censorship issues in and out of the home.

Laura Wolczyk (King), Eleanor Rickenbach (Catherine), Rosiella Sutherland (Martha) and Beth Summerfield (Asha) presented and educational and entertaining piece of theatre that could only have been written by a woman and performed by women.

The vivid descriptions of the consistency on the blood flow is something that maybe men shouldn't be privy to, mainly because we're a squeamish lot when it comes to stuff like this. We're OK watching gory films where limbs are ripped off and zombies eat brains from the skull but describe a perfectly "natural" female body function as these women did - and i can only speak for myself here - I was feeling just a little in need of air and smelling salts!

If anything, this play explains what a woman goes through and her feelings about what happens to her, and her body during this time, and while we men like to think we understand, I don't think we really appreciate the affects, so thanks for entertaining and more importantly, educating this bloke

Florence Bell is the writer and Director, assisted by Skylar Turnbull Hurd, and the piece was produced by Francis Simmons

Darcey Graham is the Lighting Director with the Sound Design by Miguel Barrulas.

“ Vaginal Discharge” is at the Nottingham New Theatre until Tuesday 15 May 2018. Don't be bloody minded and go with the flow and get yourself educated as well as entertained.

“Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency”
Nottingham New Theatre.

I'm not sure how to describe this play, or more to the point, I'm not sure what words describe what I've seen. Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing, but this play is so different to anything that I've seen and is so off the wall, but is also so idiotically entertaining and zany. Look let's start with what the play is about.......

When Richard MacDuff'’s boss Gordon Way is shockingly murdered he is thrust into the bizarre and fast-paced world of Holistic Detective, Dirk Gently – his old room-mate from university. Dirk takes it upon himself to help Richard by finding the murderer using his unique detective techniques.

What Richard doesn’t realise is that accepting Dirk’s service will lead to the uncovering of a long-kept secret of Cambridge’s resident Professor of Chronology, Reg, and an attempt to help an alien from the beginning of time. I think that clarifies what this play is all about!

Beth Mullen (Dirk Gently) is so good in this play. How would I describe Beth and her character? Well, just think of the most outrageous, outlandish, foppish version of Dr Who and that may come close to Gently.

This whole cast must have had so much fun, I don't see how they got to getting this on to the stage in the time they did as they must have spent so much time laughing at the silliness. Echoes of Monty Python and The Young Ones come to mind for the utmost Off the wall humour. As I said, this is the craziest show I've seen since "Saucy Jack & The Space Vixens".

Joe Strickland (Reg), Daniel McVey (Richard MacDuff), Callum Walker(Gordon Way), Margaux Margaux Valarché (Susan Way),
Eric Crouch (Michael Wenton-Weakes), Isabelle Cadwallader (Sgt Gilks), Chloe Schlitter (Janice Pearce), Dom Bitten (Perkins), Jamie Drew (Albert Ross/Marvin Androyd), Sally Nesbitt (Sarah Androyd/Housekeeper) and Jake Gelernter (Watkin) are the brilliant cast who deliver the laughs and crazy story throughout the 140 minutes.

There's a great deal of technical work in this play as well and Ben Woodfordis the man behind this with the operators for this work by Adam Frankland, Rohanna Brown, Hannah Burne, Zoe Smith and Nathan Penney. David Taylor was the Projection Designer, which gave another wonderful layer to this piece of theatre.

Nathan Penney also did an amazing job with the lighting with Rohanna Brown in charge of the sound design.

The set was cleverly designed to cover every scene and scenario in this play with just the introduction of a few extra items to create car scenes etc.

With this large cast and the speed of some of the scenes you need capable stage managers and Laura Wolczyk, Maggie Dorling, Gemma Walton, Tom Proffitt, Emily Wong and Darcey Graham made sure everything ran smoothly.

Someone else who not only must have had an amazing amount of fun, but also must have had a few headaches with this enormous task was Director Arthur Mckechnie, and Producer Jess Donn, but wow, what a job they did. Obviously Arthur and Jess don't like to take the easy options!

And just before I sign off, I must mention the wonderfully eye catching poster and programme design for this particular show by Marsya Hazanan,

This is one play that you do need to experience because it fits a lot in and you will get a lot of enjoyment from this crazy, zany but clever play, which even has a musical number shoe-horned into it.

“Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency” is at the Nottingham New Theatre until Saturday 12 May 2018.

“Cat On The Fiddle” by John Dole
Beeston Players
Roundhill School, Foster Avenue, Beeston

David’s Italian penpal, Mario, is coming to stay, his wife Kate goes to her mother’s so that they can practise their languages in peace. When the penpal turns up, Mario is not quite what David had expected and Mario brings to the house more than David and his wife expected!

Celebrating their 50th Anniversary, The Beeston Players go back to their first performed play to celebrate this milestone. And what a way to celebrate! Possibly the best comedy farce that I've seen Beeston Players perform, and I've seen some corkers here.

Steve Rowlinson (David Abbott) is a dream to watch and Steve's facial expressions only add to his comedic presentation of the role.

Sue Frost (Kate Abbott), is also wonderful to watch, taking great pleasure in dealing out the violence to Arturo.

Sarah Nicholson (Mrs Macwhimble) plays the landlord of the property with a brilliant, almost non-plussed, delivery of her lines which makes the lines even funnier.

Gwen Murray (Mrs Scott) has a wonderful naturalistic sense of comedy and timing who produces one of the surprises of this play at the end.A wonderful character piece for this talented actress.

Dave Roberts (Taxi Driver) who also appears in several other guises throughout. I've seen dace in several other productions for Beeston Players and always delivers cracking comedy characters and performances.

Cathy Rackstraw (A Visitor), and I can't say too much about this role without giving away too much, but let me just say that Cathy portrays a character that will take a long rime for me to get out of mind; and I love her costumes!

Paul Langston (Cuthbert Fortesque) gets a cameo role in the form of the vicar, well there has to be one in most farces. Looking, physically,not too dissimilar to the Reverend Richard Coles ex of The Communards, he manages to add to the comic value of this play.

Gary Frost (Arturo Cellini) plays a rare baddie in this farce, but you can't take his nasty intentions too seriously. Loved the accent and the snazzy costume, and as ever a complete joy to watch work. i do pity his head though by the end of the run as his is the one on the receiving end of Kate's batterings!

Debbie Blake (Mrs Bottle) plays the plumber who gets a real eyeful and getting more than she expected in the bathroom! A wonderful character piece.

Tom Jenkins and Kevin Fairbrother play the Policemen.

Director Barbara Barton has pulled it off big style. What a way to start their 50th Anniversary celebrations with such a brilliant farce. This was the first play that Beeston Players performed in 1968 and seemed so right to perform this 50 years on. Barbara has every right to be proud of her cast and production team.

One thing that I notice is the sound and lighting in every production and the sound effects (Sam Williams) were spot on.

The lighting (Fiona Maxwell and Nina Tunnicliffe) was well timed.

Loved the set design (Sam Williams and Steve Rowlinson) which has the obligatory four doors for a farce, and had a lovely 1960's feel about it, as did the costumes, make up and hair (Maxine Taylor).

This friendly and welcoming theatre group go from strength to strength and this play shows them in their best light and plays to their comedic fortes.The couple of slips (well if they were slips!) made tonight were so well covered up by the cast that this also can only show what professional attitudes they all have towards their work.

“Cat On the Fiddle” is at Roundhill School, Beeston Thursday and Friday at 7.30pm and Saturday for a matinee performance at 2.30pm

“Cogito Ergo Bum” by Ian Sheard & Jonathan Davies
Nottingham New Theatre.

Two young men pursue a lifelong dream of winning a Battle of the Bands competition, producing the seminal 1990s album, and getting invited onto Top of the Pops. Our Brit-Pop duo though must overcome the hurdle of a rival band that’s much better than them, who can sing and actually play their instruments, as well as a devilishly tempting offer !

Being a completely new piece of theatre written by Ian and Jonathan, you’re going into this with a blank canvas as to what to expect but this is a very cleverly scripted piece of comedy which is genuinely funny.

The two main characters Tony (Jack Lahiff) and Mike (Sam Morris) are like a combined morphing of Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson's "Bottom" characters, Beavis & Butthead and The Inbetweeners. I'm not sure if any of these comedy shows were in the minds of Ian and Jonathan at the time but here we have two more characters who I could see working well in a sit com style.

The two girl characters Mel (Prue Sparkes - who makes s fine debut at NNT) and Viola (Darcey Graham) are well matched in their opposite traits to the boys.

Also making their debut for NNT is Zendell Crichlow as Daemon. A fun and mischievous character with just the right amount of camp.

Directed by Jonathan, assisted by Ian and Produced by Sophie Curtis, this trio created a witty piece of theatre which also shows that the references within the script were well researched and worked into the flow of the script. "I Want You Back" by Bananarama on the album "Wow" - Track 10 - cleverly written in to cause a different reaction from Viola when spurted out by Tony. I love a clever script.

Part of The Fringe Season at NNT and also entered into the National Student Drama Festival, I've a feeling that this, among the other entries from NNT, will be very popular; especially if the audience reaction tonight was anything to go by.

And you know what, the end song "Cogito Ergo Bum" is also a really catchy tune; I couldn't get it out on my head all the way back home. Thanks lads!

"Flashdance"
Nottingham Theatre Royal.

Alex Owens (Joanne Clifton) is a beautiful young woman who works a day job in a steel mill and dances in a bar at night. When Alex discovers that her handsome boss, Nick Hurley (Ben Adams), is both interested in her and supportive of her performing career, she renews her efforts to get accepted into a prestigious dance conservatory. Although Alex is frightened of failure, she is cheered on by Nick, as well as by her mentor, former ballet performer Hanna Long (Carol Ball).

When the casting director put together this cast, the choices could not have been better. Joanne Clifton from Strictly Come Dancing is the perfect choice as dancer Alex, and no one can deny that the handsome ex A1 boyband lead singer does not match the criteria for Nick Hurley. His voice still as good as it ever was, but that;s because his career as a singer/songwriter has never ceased.

No surprise then with the cast, but one big surprise in Joanne's singing. Who would have thought that this very sexy dancer could also have such a great voice as well. She matched Ben's voice all the way through, and in the duets there was a real spark, In fact the chemistry between these two leads seemed very real, or maybe they are just really good actors!

I also need to mention Hollie-Ann Lowe who played a wonderful Gloria and Sasha Latoya who brought some lovely comedy touches as Hanna's carer/home help Louise.

That said, the supporting cast and ensemble all did a great job in every aspect of this lively musical which won't tax the brain. Sometimes it's nice just to let something fluffy blow away the cobwebs of your working week and leave you feeling refreshed and invigorated and send you out dancing into the streets.

Choreographed by Matt Cole, and when you have a dancer of the quality of Joanne Clifton, the rest of the ensemble really do have to be good, and they are. There's an explosion of energy from the stage that makes you want to get up and dance.

As for the costumes, it may be a long time before I get Joanne's costumes out of my mind, and everyone else's were typical 80's fluorescent dance wear, also creating a visual treat.

What also makes this musical exciting is the lighting design (Andrew Ellis) but I'm not sure if it was being opening night in Nottingham but the sound was just a little over powering in the uptempo numbers, quite often drowning the vocals. The ballads were so much easier on the ear.

Directed by Hannah Chissick, she kept everything tight and the scene changes were incorporated into the action or behind the ballads in the shadows of the musical, making everything unobtrusive and smooth.

The band, under the musical direction of George Carter, were crisp and tight, producing those magical music moments from the film. "Maniac", "Gloria" and of course "Flashdance - What A Feeling", as well as a rocking version of "I Love Rock n Roll".

My only wish though was that the build up in the choreography to the iconic scene where Alex pulls the water over her while draped over the chair, wasn't a bit longer, it all seemed to happen so fast, but a great way to end Act One.

"Flashdance" is at the Nottingham Theatre Royal until Saturday 12 May 2018.

“Salome” by Oscar Wilde
Nottingham New Theatre

One of Oscar Wilde’s little performed dark tragedies which was first banned in England.

The play tells in one act the Biblical story of Salome, stepdaughter of Herod Antipas, who, to her stepfather's dismay but to the delight of her mother Herodias, requests the head of Jokanaan (John the Baptist) on a silver platter as a reward for dancing the dance of the seven veils and as revenge on Jokanaan for his rejection of Salome’s sexual advances.

This is one play that I'd read before seeing the play. I loved the script but to see the play brought to life was a treat for me. I can honestly say that the 90 minutes the play took to perform was the quickest hour and a half I've spent in a theatre; I was engrossed.

Directed by Amy Crighton, she has kept the original feel of the play but also adds a modern feel with the dancing and the musical sections.

Maggie Dorling played Salome, and flicked from being almost trance like in her repeat of want she wanted from her stepfather to being passionate in her final monologue.

Francis Simmons played the dual role of Jokanaan as well as Herod - Salome's stepfather. Once more a passionate performance as he pleads with Salome to change her mind, and sheer horror as her wish is completed and her reactions.

Emily Sterling plays Salome's mother and Herod's husband. At first the role comes across as comic but then the reality of her backing her daughter in her requests is quite alarming.

These three spearhead what is a very talented cast of eleven.

The technical crew total sixteen so I'll just mention a few, and apologies for the rest who did just as brilliant a job as these few.

Rose Edgeworth who produced the play, Sam Osborne whose lighting design helped guide the action and created that atmosphere. Darcey Graham's sound design, again creating the mood of the play. A lot of work has gone into the sound design in this play especially with the sourcing of the appropriate songs.

The costumes - Annabel Smith - were a mix of styles which worked really well with the modern feel as well as being era appropriate.

With the NNT, a lot of thought goes into the sets, and no change in this one. Long drapes and simple seating for Herod's home gave a feel of simple but comfortable surroundings.

I mentioned that there were dance breaks and these were choreographed by Charlotte Sanders, Ellie Roberts and Georgina Pittman.

Part of the modern feel came from the Video Design screened on to the drapes. Subtle but a nice touch and designed by Ted Marriott.

Having read many of Wilde's plays, and being a fan of his wit, this play is a nice change from the comedy in his other plays, and I was so pleased that NNT decided to choose this one to perform, plus it's another one ticked off the list of plays I'd not seen before.

“Salome” is at the Nottingham New Theatre until Saturday 5 May 2018

“The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas”
Christchurch Theatre Club
Loughborough Town Hall

“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” is better known as being the Dolly Parton film with Burt Reynolds. The story surrounds a real brothel, The Chicken Ranch, where payment was often not of the monetary kind, which is how the place got it's name.

Under the proprietorship of Miss Mona, and protected by a friendly sheriff, The Chicken Ranch is frequented by politicians, football teams, and others, and thrives in the small town of Gilbert, Texas. That is until Miss Mona and her girls come under fire from the religious televangelist, Melvin P. Thorpe.

Julie Easter (Miss Mona Stangley) oozes style and class, and what a voice this woman has. It's not that easy to sound Country but Julie's intonation of the songs make her sound as if she's sung this style all her life. And I just fell in love with Julie's delivery of "The Bus From Amarillo"

Jeremy Malpas (Sherriff Ed Earl Dodd) delivers a sure fire and steady performance, Dodd faithful to Mona's cause but torn between what he is forced into and keeping the status quo. Jeremy brings an aggressive passion to the musical in his role.

Gemma Farnell (Jewel Mosley) is Miss Mona's right hand woman, sticking up for the girls and Mona.

Anita Benson (Doatsy Mae Grimes) is a smaller character role but a lovely robust character with dreams, as expressed in her reflective song "Doatsy Mae".

David Perkins (Melvin P. Thorpe) reminded me visually of a cross between a perma tanned Donald Trump and 70's comedian Duncan Norvelle. What a wonderful character part and I love the costumes Melvin has to wear. This is the comedy role in this play and the casting is spot on.

Duncan Gadsby (Governor Briscoe) also brings the comedy with this character. Briscoe has a political sidestepping trait which is wonderfully bore out in song, aptly called "The Sidestep"

Carl Unwin (Bandleader + several other roles). It's always good to see Carl in a musical and he sets the scene from the start and carries the story line through as if he was the narrator.

Holly Easter (Angel) starts off as a strong confident character in Angel who it's then revealed to be doing this job for a completely different reason from what we expected. In a softer scene where she is talking to her son on the phone, Angel shows a real motherly side to her. this is also noticed by Mona. A lovely, warm contrasting role for Holly.

Sophie Draycott (Shy) also shows a radical transformation from a shy "schoolgirl" character to a very confident and able employee of Mona's establishment!

A large ensemble.with a few new faces as well flesh out - and in parts I do mean FLESH OUT - the cast. This musical definitely has something for both the men and women eye candy wise.

This may sound a bit "sexist pig" but the musical is set in the 70's and while it may have lost the shock value of when it was written and performed first, as well as the radical - for the time- subject matter, the show is very entertaining, and come on, we all like to see a bit of flesh don't we?

Directed and choreographed by Michael Gamble, on both accounts it was a big success. I loved the energy in the dance numbers and the pace of the scenes were just right. No hanging about as the scenes flowed from one to the next.

The sets themselves were designed by Scenic Projects giving a professional and glamorous sheen all round.

One man who must have been run ragged was the Stage Manager, Adrian Wray, keeping this particular ship on a perfect even keel.Ably assisted by Lynne Leeming.

A large amount of wonderful costumes and wigs made this a visual treat.

The band of six really created a wonderful Nashville feel and I'm a sucker for a proper pedal steel guitar, played with feeling by John Davis. All under the musical direction of Vicki Hing.

Great sound and great lighting brought even more life to this bouncy show.

Christchurch Theatre Club have many strengths, which is why they have such a massively loyal following, as shown in the packed theatre tonight, but one that I've always loved and admired is their harmony work. When you hear "Hard Candy Christmas" and the barbershop style of "20 Fans", they really show off the vocal talents of their ensemble work. A treat for the ears.

From the front of house people to the people on and off the stage, you'll find this group one of the friendliest as well as hard working bunch in local theatre, which is why they are as popular as they are.

For a fun and very lively show with some great uptempo songs and tear-jerking ballads, boundless energy, you'll be hard pushed to find one as entertaining this week. And while there's plenty of flesh on show from the start, just remember, there's nothing dirty going on! Yeeeeehah!

“The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas” is open for business until Saturday 5 May 2018. Unfortunately ticket fee is monetary so no chickens will be taken as fare here.